In the Future...February

Upcoming Movies - February 2011

- Sanctum - Feb. 4

    - Starring: Rhys Wakefield, Allison Cratchley, Christopher Baker

- The Roommate - Feb. 4

    - Starring: Minka Kelly, Leighton Meester, Cam Gigandet

- Just Go With It - Feb. 11

    - Starring: Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston, Brooklyn Decker

- Gnomeo & Juliet - Feb. 11

    - Starring: James McAvoy, Emily Blunt, Maggie Smith

- The Eagle - Feb. 11

    - Starring: Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell, Donald Sutherland

- Justin Bieber: Never Say Never - Feb. 11

    - Starring: Justin Bieber

- I Am number Four - Feb. 18

    - Starring: Alex Pettyfer, Timothy Olyphant, Dianna Agron

- Unknown - Feb. 18

    - Starring: Liam Neeson, Diane Kruger, January Jones

- Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son - Feb. 18

    - Starring: Martin Lawrence, Brandon T. Jackson

- Vanishing on 7th Street - Feb. 18

    - Starring: Hayden Christensen, Thandie Newton, John Leguiamo

- Drive Angry 3D - Feb. 25

    - Starring: Nicolas Cage, Amber Heard, William Fichtner

- Hall Pass - Feb. 25

    - Starring: Owen Wilson, Jason Sudeikis, Christina Applegate

- Shelter - Feb. 25

    - Starring: Julianne Moore, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Jeffrey DeMunn

(information taken from imdb.com)

Upcoming Albums - February 2011

Week of February 1

George Michael -  City of Refuge

Rippingtons - Cote D'Azur

Ricky Martin - Musica + Alma + Sexo

Lazarus A.D. - Black Rivers Flow

Red - Until We Have Faces

Marcus Miller - A Night in Monte Carlo

Noisear - Subvert the Dominant Paradigm

David Lowery - The Palace Guards

Paul Hardcastle - Desire

Matisyahu - Live at Stubb's Vol. 2

Ladysmith Black Mambazo - Songs From a Zulu Farm

Phil Collins - No Jacket Required

Week of February 7

Streets - Computers and Blues

Hawk Nelson - Crazy Love

And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead - Tao of the Dead

Kurt Elling - The Gate

Cut Copy - Zonoscope

Motorhead - The World is Yours

Thompson Square - Thompson Square

Herb Alpert - I Feel You

Wallin' Jennys - Bright Morning Stars

Nick Carter - I'm Taking Off

Slaughterhouse - Slaughter House EP

Chase & Status - No More Idols

Week of February 15

Roxette - Charm School

Drive By Truckers - Go-Go Boots

Yuck - Yuck

Telekinesis - 12 Desperate Straight Lines

Mogwal - Hardcore Will Never Die But You Will

Cowboy Junkies - Demons

Hayes Carll - KMAG YOYO

Streets - Computers & Blues

Bright Eyes - The People's Key

Week of Feb. 22

Lauren Pritchard - Wasted in Jackson

The Cave Singers - No Witch

Adele - 21

Jeff Beck - Rock 'N' Roll Party

Joan Armatrading - Live at Royal Albert Hall

Bayside - Killing Time

Gil Scott-Heron - We're New Here

Celtic Thunder - Heritage

Johnny Winter - Live Bootleg Series 7

Alexis Jordan - Alexis Jordan

Hollywood Undead - American Tragedy 

(information taken from metrolyrics.com)

TV Series Premieres - February 2011 (times: Pacific Standard)

- The Chicago Code - Feb. 7                                              9PM       FOX

- Traffic Light - Feb. 8                                                        9PM       FOX

- Mr. Sunshine - Feb. 9                                                      9:30PM    ABC

- Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior - Feb. 16                 10PM      CBS

- Mad Love - Feb. 21                                                           8:30PM   CBS

- Shedding for the Wedding - Feb. 23                                9PM       The CW

TV Series Season Premiere/New Episodes - February 2011 (times: Pacific Standard)

- The Defenders - Feb. 4                                                       8PM CBS

- Glee - Feb. 8                                                                        8PM FOX

- Law & Order: Los Angeles - Feb. 8                                 10PM NBC

- Justified - Feb. 9                                                                 10PM FX

- Survivor: Redemption Island - Feb. 16                            8PM CBS

- The Amazing Race - Feb. 20                                             8PM CBS

- America's Next Top Model - Feb. 23                                8PM The CW

- The Event - Feb. 28                                                            9PM NBC

(information taken from cinemablend.com)

Upcoming Awards Shows - February 2011 (times: Pacific Standard)

- 2011 WGA (Writers Guild) Awards - Feb. 5 (5PM) 

- 53rd Grammy Awards - Feb. 13 (5PM) CBS

- 2011 BAFTA Awards - Feb. 13 

- Independent Spirit Awards - Feb. 26 

- 83rd Annual Academy Awards Presentation - Feb. 27 (3:30) ABC 

(information taken from individual awards websites)

Straight from the Narwhal's Mouth - February

The Perfect Narwhal

--- Steven Albers

     

      Even if you’re no perfectionist, you can’t deny that irresistible feeling you get that things have to turn out just right; or at least close to what you had in mind. Sometimes we avoid certain situations for the sole reason that we know it “won’t turn out right,” like that time you avoided a date with crazy Mathilda. But much more often, you make that very same kind of decision subconsciously; sometimes with good reason, and sometimes because you’re simply misguided/misinformed. These hopeful bouts of perfection arise everywhere, and we can’t help but fall victim to them.

Whether you believe it or not, perfection simply isn’t a part of human nature. In fact, there are even diseases like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) where those affected try to make things perfect, and are bothered to the point of insanity when they aren’t. Given the lifespan of mankind, one would think society would find ‘perfect’ methods for things as important as finance or government, but in many cases, they’re about as imperfect as they’ve ever been. Ironically, it’s often times perfection leading people to over think and over correct things that didn’t need to be touched in the first place.

Take, for example, those little situations you either avoid or chase after because you think you’re waiting for/creating some perfect moment.  That situation can be as minor as taking a different route to class because you’re afraid you’ll see that cute girl from Anthropology class when you look like a train wreck, to something as major as going into a job interview early and unprepared because you’re afraid that someone will get the job before you when you’re really hurting your chances by stumbling through easy questions.

We’re constantly trying to create this perfect world for ourselves whether we think we are or not, and by doing just that, we may be working towards the exact opposite of what we really want. Going after that job interview too soon made your potential employer think you were sloppy and unprofessional, when really you’d have been a perfect candidate if given some time to clean up. And what if that girl shared the same sentiment you did? Now you’re spending more time treating her like she’s a ball of fire instead of approaching her like a sensible human being.

Now think again of those times of serendipity (accidental good fortune), when the proverbial (yet very real at the same time) stars align, and that perfect situation you were trying so hard to engineer literally falls into your lap; like when you realize that your friend’s parents have close ties to this famous figure you’ve always dreamed of meeting. Life’s too flawed for you to spend it chasing perfection; especially when living that imperfect, defunct life of yours presents picture-perfect situations all the time.

Featured Fiction - February

Around the Corner

--- Paige dePolo

     Theo’s mouth was full of blood, but at least he hadn’t made a sound. Any price was better than that of losing his target. The pain of his stubbing a bare toe on an uneven cobblestone would be nothing in a few minutes, after all, it was nearly time.

     Theo flexed his long fingers and drifted after the man, his target. The idiot was obviously wealthy, who else would have a cloak of that quality? Who else would casually wear a full money pouch on their belt? This particular specimen was either new in town or hopelessly dimwitted.  In Teng the lawbreakers would always be quick off the mark, quick to take advantage of the situation, especially the thieves.

      The idiot halted ahead, and Theo immediately leapt into a doorframe. Had he been spotted? No, the man was just adjusting his gloves. Honestly, who was this guy? He obviously wasn’t a long time resident of Teng. Nobody just idly stopped on street corners in the rough town. His preening complete, the target walked away, turned sharply into a large house at the end of the road, and vanished.

     Theo smirked and looked downward at the innocuous pouch. He would eat that evening. He slipped the drawstring and triumphantly stuck a questing hand into its depths. What riches were awaiting him? But something was wrong. He paused, then pulled a handful of beetle wings, not coins, from the pouch. 

     Trembling with fury, Theo replaced the wings and angrily slipped the pouch in his pocket. Sparks began to trail from his fingertips. He quieted his magic at once and glanced warily around. Nobody was nearby. A familiar curse flitted through Theo’s mind. He called down silent imprecations against the god that had looked upon his birth. Magic was purportedly a gift from the gods. Such a gift had no place in Teng, however.

     Theo began to walk away. Evening was approaching and he still had no money to show for a day’s dishonest labor. He strode with an energy fueled by frustration.  Then he stopped, for Theo had been gifted with a clever mind. Beetle wings were one of the harnesses serious mages used for their spells. There was another mage in Teng. He was not alone.

     The stubbed toe lodged a faint protest as Theo sprinted towards the distant house.  “He has the materials for spells,” Theo panted. “He had to have formal training. Maybe he could teach me.”

     The verbalization of his inner thoughts brought Theo up short at the little gate leading to the house. “No,” he stated firmly. “I’ll just ask him how to give the magic back. I didn’t ask for it. I don’t want it.”

     He pushed open the gate and ignored the icy feel of the latch. He was at the door. His hand rose to knock on the dark, heavy wood. He hesitated. Knocking on a stranger’s door in Teng was foolish. Knocking on a mage’s door would probably be tantamount to suicide. Mages were regarded with outright hatred in these parts, so this one probably lived on a healthy diet of suspicion.

     Theo tilted his head and regarded the final barrier. He nodded firmly and closed his eyes. All he had to do, hopefully, was show that he also had the gift. The sparks again flared in his hands.  His knuckles were a hairsbreadth away from the door.

     It was then that the beast struck.

     

     Clawed paws ripped through the tin shirt Theo wore and tore into his shoulders. Theo reacted with the instincts born of years of scrapping for food. He twisted at the hips and slammed the creature into wall of the house. A scaly tail whipped across his face and Theo felt an involuntary scream rip from his throat. He reached up to free himself from the claws, scrabbling at the hard body of the monster. He screamed again as teeth closed about his wrist. Bone crunched. Theo’s scream choked off as the tail slowly wound around his neck. Gasping for air, he fell backwards, his thin body writhing on the mage’s doorstep.

     Light dazzled Theo’s eyes as the door opened. Then a soft voice whispered, “Hst, hst, Ket settle. Away, Ket.” 

     The choking scales disappeared; the claws were wrenched free. Strong arms lifted Theo’s injured form. He struggled feebly in the arm of his rescuer. “Demon,” he bleated hoarsely. “Demon.”

     A gentle laugh crashed against his ears. “No,” came the soft whisper, tinged with amusement. “Not demon. Dragon. Mist dragon to be precise.”

     “Dragon,” Theo whispered. His mind reeled from the pain of his wounds, the lack of air in his body, and the weight of this revelation. Darkness rushed towards him, and Theo gratefully succumbed.

**all fiction is property of the author and EAL Magazine, please do not use or copy in any form without permission**

  

My Gay Best Friend - February

My Gay Best Friend

--- K.P. Lennox

     Hi, just found EAL, I dig this, but Gay Best Friend can you tell me what women really want, it seems too confusing and not worth the effort, I feel you have it easy being gay and all, gay people are more open and fun and less hassle it seems at times, just wondering what your thoughts are.

---nick

(nick's question was originally posted as a comment as a result to the January issue)

     Hi nick, Gay Best Friend here. After a day-long quest and consultation with the women closest to yours truly I finally have an answer. The best part? It won’t involve any hair dryers, bathtubs or naked Mel Gibsons—lucky you! Your primary objective: respect. Trust me; it’s harder than you think. Remember that small acts of conscientiousness impress greatly. 

     The next time you’re out—whether at a bar or party—ask the lady if she’d like a drink while you’re already up. Forego words like pussy, bitch, slut, whore, wench, tramp, twat, or ESPECIALLY cunt when referring to any woman or lady bits. This is another person we’re talking about, and as such she deserves to be treated as your equal. Never forget that. 

     Your secondary objective: communication. If you ARE intimate with someone you need to talk to them and clearly express what you expect. I can’t stress this enough—for fuck sake, TALK! If you’re not in a relationship, this takes on the twist of “playing games”. Everyone bitches and whines about having to do it, but this is the test. The easiest thing to do is casually talk—holy shit, I think there’s a motif here—to the girl, screw up your courage enough to give her your number and say “if you want to get coffee or a bite to eat sometime, let me know!”. Then WALK AWAY. I repeat, WALK AWAY. You’ve planted a small seed to let her know you are interested.

      Now, let the game-playing begin. As time passes and you gain the experience of more than a handful of relationships you will begin to weed out what works and what fails. Just as any other, success at the sport of relations requires a level of dedication and repetition. Even if you get trampled on, dust the shit off your shoulders and put yourself back out there. But remember, never give up. Never lose hope. 

And when all else fails, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I

---Gay Best Friend

Dear Gay Best Friend,

Now that we have the answer to the proverbial ‘what do women want’ I have a question for you. I’ve been single forever, I’m not a supermodel, but I’m smart and independent. Why is it always the tramp on the next barstool that gets the guy though? Are all men just looking for a hookup? What is it that MEN want?!

---Confused and Lonely

     Ok Confused, you’ve got a whole 12 minutes of my time—seeing as that’s how long I’ve got before some crazy bitch steals my clothes out of the dryer. The answer to your question is yes, a lot of times men are simply looking for a hookup. It’s a fact; people are horny, and they need sexual fulfillment.

     As to the trampy girl next to you on the barstool. You’re obviously competing with someone a bit easier than yourself on any given night. Seeing as how we can’t fix the entirety of the male population, maybe you need a bit of tweaking.

     There is nothing wrong with being slutty. Ok? Let me reiterate that: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING SLUTTY! Think of it as a method of empowerment; you now have control over the doting brute that is…drumroll please…the heterosexual male.

      In fact, without giving your grandmother a coronary, adopt some of these seductive maneuvers. The next time you go out throw on some fierce little black dress and a pair of stilettos. And for fuck’s sake get a new attitude. No one wants to bang—unless their horrendously desperate—some Low self-esteem Lisa. They don’t call it liquid courage for nothing. Have a drink...or four. 

Just don’t end up being a hot mess.

     Rockin’ a small buzz yet? Good, now to the next step: eye contact. As you’re slowly sipping your gin and tonic, look around the room. Just casually; don’t eye-rape anyone, it’s rude. This will take some practice, but just keep trying.

Has anyone come up to you in a bar or at a party and asked if you’d want a relationship? 

Exactly!

     Quit being so caught up with significant others and monogamy. If you’re single, your only obligation is to please yourself and enjoy the process!

And if you are able to secure a good piece of ass in the process, kudos to you!

---Gay Best Friend

For the wise advice from our GBF, please send all questions to ealadvice@gmail.com and your question may be answered in the next issue!!

Fitness/Beauty - February

Romance in Beauty

(hair and lashes that touch the sky and beyond)

--- Lena Lam

    Whether it’s a first date or a date on a special day (such as Valentine’s Day), there is a substantial amount of pressure to look your best to impress that special someone. Girls can spend anywhere from an hour to several hours preparing for a date. After all, the perfect outfit can only be found after trying on a gazillion of other ones first; factor in the time it takes to decide on matching accessories, makeup, and hair, and you’ve just spent the last five hours preparing for a date that will last half that time. Guys may go through only a couple of outfits and/or hairstyle changes while getting ready, but they’re still just as anxious as the girls are. 

     This may sound like a stupid or an obvious piece of advice (it depends on how long it typically takes you to get ready), but I have to say it: relax. They already agreed to go out with you, so why are you fussing so much about every little detail? Unless you came off as a perfection addict when you got the person to agree to a date, quit thinking about how your makeup should match both your dress and HIS eyes. Think of it as an opportunity for you two to spend time with each other—and, wait for it—while being yourselves. It’s such a simple concept, but with all of the pre-date jitters, most people usually forget the ultimate purpose of a date.

     What happens when people forget? Suddenly, the girl sitting across the dinner table looks 20 years older (and not in a good way) than when you asked her out. Or, the guy sitting next to you in the dim theater has so much gel in his hair that you start to wonder if you’ll ever be able to run your hands through his hair without stabbing yourself.

     Yes, you should look better than you did when you rolled out of bed this morning. No, you should not look like you’re going to a photo shoot. Or, conversely, you should not look like a raccoon just because you said to yourself “psh, that’s not enough makeup to give me smoky, sexy looking eyes.”

     Okay, enough with the ranting about pre-date jitters. Here’s some advice about what to do with your makeup and/or hair:

     If you’re comfortable with your potential beau, use little or no makeup. Girls and guys, keep your hair simple. Either let it down or apply just a little gel (or hair putty, if you want to avoid having literally spiky hair) to create that tousled look. (Of course, keep in mind the length of your hair, whether you’ll be ice skating or watching a movie, and how accustomed to the style you are.)

     If you’re going to a semi-formal event or restaurant, apply some makeup. More specifically, at the least, apply concealer and foundation, as well as a little blush. Your eyes should not be heavily made up; eyeliner will make your eyes stand out more, but too much eye shadow and/or mascara will have the opposite effect (i.e. they will make your eyes look smaller). A little lip gloss and curling the ends of your hair (again, consider how long your hair is) will complete your look. Guys, make sure your hair isn’t too messy, or mess-less; it’s semi-formal, so you have some wiggle room with how your hair should look.

     If you’re going to a place where everyone is dressed to the nines, consider adding eye shadow, mascara, lip liner, and lipstick to the semi-formal look. Also, consider water-proof makeup and how long you’ll have the makeup on; you may need to refresh your makeup after a while, so keep them in your purse. Girls, depending on the style of your dress/attire, put up your hair in a French bun (simple or elaborate) or curl your hair. Guys, go for a fresh hairstyle that works for you, whether it be just going with your buzz cut, tousled hair, or slightly gelled back hair.

     Regardless of which numbered date it is or where you’re going, remember to maintain a balance among your makeup, hair, attire, and most importantly, you! All of those things are essentially accessories that accentuate your best qualities. Don’t lose yourself in unnecessary makeup or hairspray. Trust me, it won’t be pretty. 

     

Food Supplement Wars

--- Sarah Luo

     Diet pills have a horrible reputation when it comes to weight loss. Some say that they'll actually make you heavier unless you continually take them. Others will tell you that they are just plain unhealthy. Instead you’re told that working out and eating healthier is the best way to go. Eating healthier and exercise are definitely key, but unless you’re eating from all five food groups and making sure of portion size, calories, and vitamin intake, your body may not break down the fat fast enough and you may still be missing essential nutrients. 

    No fear, there are other ways to get the nutrients you need bunched up into a little thing called dietary supplements. Dietary supplements can range from pills, to shakes, to juices. Some would consider dietary supplements an unnecessary part of your everyday routine, but there are those who would consider them to be more like health food. The American Heritage® Medical Dictionary, 2007 states that health food is simply “a food believed to be highly beneficial to health.” This is basically what dietary supplements are, though there is also a very common misconception that comes along when talking about them. Supplements are not some magic pill that makes you automatically lose weight without any outside exercise or dieting. Rather, they are used so that you have your necessary daily vitamin intake, which will, along with diet and exercise, ultimately help you in reaching your weight loss goals. 

    Some good dietary supplements include Shakeology and Muscle Milk. Shakeology is a shake marketed by Beach Body Fitness and can be used both as a meal replacement or as an alternate daily vitamin intake. Shakeology has all of the vitamins you need to keep a healthy body and is equivalent to five servings of vegetables (per scoop of powder). Many use it as a diet aid in that they drink Shakeology instead of eating a full meal. Supplements like Shakeology work by speeding up your body's metabolism and fat break down. This product, and others like it, run very expensive however, because of the abundance of nutrients which make it up such as Acai and Vitamins B, C, and D. If you are interested, then they can be purchased from $90-$120 on the Beach Body Fitness website, or from an Independent Beach Body Coach. 

     Muscle Milk is another similar supplement, but a bit different from Shakeology. Muscle Milk not only has all the vitamins and nutrients you need, it is also contains an enhanced protein to help in “lean muscle growth and fast recovery from exercise.” Muscle Milk is a great aid for those that work out intensely, whether it be weight lifting or cardio. Like Shakeology, Muscle Milk burns fat faster, but instead of being used as a meal replacement, Muscle Milk should be consumed before or after workouts for better workout results. Just a heads up, the taste of Muscle Milk is a different from any kind of shake or milk you've ever had. Some like it and some just can't get used to it, so make sure you try it before you commit to it as a daily habit. Muscle Milk can be bought at any GNC store for as low as $20. 

     These are just a couple of the better diet supplements you can choose from. Not all are great, but they all ultimately achieve the same goal and that is to help you retain all the nutrients and proteins you need daily. They are very effective when it comes to strenuous workouts and can help you maintain a healthy diet. Diet supplements aren’t necessarily bad for the body, but when it comes to diet pills, you definitely need to be cautious. Diet pills such as Hydroxycut or Alli have varied results, so make sure you are very careful in considering one of those programs for your weightloss. Also be mindful of what your body can take, try samples (if possible) first before committing to a full program. There are plenty of options out there, so never feel like you're stuck to just one pill or just one shake. Health is the new revolution, and there are tools for you to be successful with it, so why not just give it a try? Who knows, you might end up really liking one.